I've been stranded on this island for the

I've been stranded on this island for the past 20 years, but at least I have internet. In spite of that, nobody can rescue me because the island is in the middle of

the Arctic Sea. I am surrounded by ice that is unbreakable in an frosty canyon that is untraceable. I at least have my contact with the outside world. But I only have 13 days until

the results of my gene-splicing ... "Heh," said Haribo Dostoevsky to his fellow northbound traveler, Justin Karamazov. "Let's check it out."

Justin pulled off one of Haribo's gummy arms and squished it under a microscope. "See? Not only is my genetic makeup gluten free, it is also part Swedish, due to a fish on my

mother's side a few generations back. I mean, it's not like I can go back in time and question my ancestors. I can't prove I'm part fish. I just know it's true," Justin said.

The rest of Justin's bandmates nodded sympathetically before backing out of the room in a single-file line and softly singing "bye bye bye". No one would believe he was a merman

jumped at the sight of a sudden burst of bubbles at the surface. Aquaman was giving him suspicious looks. "Ew! Justin, was that you?" His merman tail suddenly smacked

Aquaman. "Sorry!" said Justin, "No it wasn't me it was uh… my cat!" He pulled a wet cat out of the water. The cat farted. "Just keep your merman tail out of my face," said Aquaman.

Aquaman took note of the water conditions. "Justin, why is this water 98°?" Justin shrugged oddly. "Why are you in this backstreet? You're not a new kid on the block." Justin lied.