Josh from work was forced by necessity to

Josh from work was forced by necessity to buy a pint at The Famous Cock in Highbury last Tuesday. He told me this in an email even though he was sitting at the desk abutting mine

. abutting mine. abut-ting. He he. Unfortunately Josh included a suggestive Famous Cock-themed photo montage which appeared on my screen just as Amanda, our touchy section chief

, dropped in for her mid-morning touchy-feely session with us. "Wow, what's that?" Amanda asked as she massaged my neck. "Famous cocks, you adorable section chief," whispered Josh.

"No," I said. "That's just my collarbone." Amanda seemed surprised and said it was very prominent; then she continued the massage. My shoulders were very sore, because

and gently wrapped them around my throat. "Uh, Amanda," I said, "it's my collarbone that's broken, not my neck." She smiled sweetly and pulled the bandages tight. "I know, sweets."

"Ok, because you're putting that bandage on my neck and throat, not my clavicle. That bandage is tight. I'm getting light heated ... ."???? ???????????????? ????????????????????????. ???? ???????????????? ????????

handwriting is difficult to read, so I'll just type it out. Kay?" And with a puff of smoke, Kay Ballard appeared with a keyboard/monitor. And on the screen, these words appeared:

I am not Eve Arden. I'm Kaye , her co-star in the Mothers-in-law television series back in the 1960s. She is the one who said: If you can’t be an athlete, be an athletic supporter

Personally, I figured this is the way you spread jock itch, but whatever. She made more money than I did anyway, so she must've known what she was talking about.