He'd almost hit it big, he almost got a show

He'd almost hit it big, he almost got a show on the Air called, "Junkyard Police Action" but was beat out by the soulless show called, "

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno." Having seen how low the bar had been set, he renamed his show "Junkie Police Action." Basically, drug addicts with cop uniforms and batons beat up

whoever they can get their hands on. There used to be rules, but junkies are hard to train. But the show was iced when McGruff laid the smackdown on the cop-uniformed druggies.

they'd put you in an "institution" and give you electroshock therapy and then lobotomize you. Ahh, those were the days. He sniffed another pixie stick before continuing.

Immediately, he began tearing up shrubberies and stuffing them into a near-by phone box. The sight of this pleased those inside the Bhaji Burger so much

that they began cheering and taking bad cell phone photos. He was rejuvinated and continued his path of destruction by ripping up manhole covers

and tossing them like frisbees to the other giant monsters. Mothra was pretty damn good about catching them in flight, and Baby Godzilla

, as young as he was, could catch them behind his back! All in a day's work... After hours, the giant monsters would go to the park and play disc golf with the NYPD

and the FDNY. Sometimes they took breaks to sign autographs for little children (who thought they worked for Monsters INC) and then they went home to the Central Park Zoo.