Police from the central German town of Bad

Police from the central German town of Bad Hersfeld report culprits made off with 5.5 tons of Nutella from a parked trailer--estimated worth $20,000.

I planned this heist for weeks! The big Nutella filled Panda bear was loaded onto the semi and we were getting ready to hit the Mexicali border. I started to sweat when the agent

pulled the monkey out of his pants and begged me to sneak it into the country on his behalf. Wow, who would have guessed the border agent could get that big of a monkey into his

Unmentionable area. I was unsure weather the security had seen the creature being offered to me at arms length, I knew arguing was going to draw the unwanted attention so I tyried

talking her into covering her unmentionable area because the ginormous wart growing there really was monsterous. I wanted nothing to do with that creature, no sirree Bob. Security

traders at the exchange considered the wart a sign of economic prosperity. Brokers rushed to invest in a bio-medical company that was pioneering research into a wart cream. I was

wart-off. Mine was on my inner thigh. A real ogre, a monster wart. For awhile I thought it was a zit and squeezed it, but that only made it mightier. The brokers showed their

warts to the Delacruise sisters...Marguerite, Juanita, and Phylis. None of the sisters were impressed with the warts, but Phylis had her eyes on my

hair. "What lovely hair you have" She said as he reached out to touch it. Before I could shout "No don't touch it!" She had wipped off my wig. "AAaahhHH! Hairless again!"