I'd never smoked bath salts before. I'd

I'd never smoked bath salts before. I'd never done any drug before. But here I was, high on bath salts on my way to church.

I mean, so was everyone else. It's not like I'm the only one. The church choir runs the bath salt business on the side. They practically run the town! Today is my audition so I

snorted the bath salts and turned my rage on the choir's soprano, ripping her face off and eating it in front of the tenor. Of course, I didn't pass the audition, but I enjoyed

savouring the terror & fear of the choir members. Unfortunately, the raw flesh tasted awful and after a few chews, I had to spit out everything out of my mouth. Ugh.

The human flesh had been much rawer than I thought & grabbed hold of my tongue. I coughed it out with the meat. Without my tongue my voice over career was finished. A waiter rushed

Over. Sir, you can no longer fulfil your contract. That means your soul is now property of the devil. Now, join the rest of us hell bound in the kitchen. Today's special is actor

Tom Selleck consommé served over a pilaf made from the teeth of Jim and Tammy Baker. Please do not forget to tip your demonic waiter or he will grind pepper on your wounds. Desert

Dessert will also be served &yes, it is a little dry, but you can order it a la commode if you like.Oh& then afterdinner drinks will be served cliff-side. A 40% tip is appreciated.

The host had finished his presentation to the new servers about tipping. A hand went up. “Yes?” The server who raised his hand spoke timidly. “Just one question, sir…What’s a tip?"