The Nose Troll attaches itself to noses by

The Nose Troll attaches itself to noses by using its mouth as suction. The Nose Troll is a harmless creature that

feeds on boogers and little hairs, like a mini bulb syringe or pilot fish. I decided to turn a profit on the Nose Troll. "You gotta pay the nose toll to get in," I said. His mouth

formed into a small "o" but he paid, and paid dearly. My nose toll was $100/minute for all-you-could-dig boogers. The beauty of this plan was that not only could I make some dough,

but I had both hands free again for Star Wars Angry Birds. Once I got people to agree not to get in my way while I played they were free to harvest all the nose cheese they could

handle. But the noise! All of the screams of the nose cheese herd was really getting to me. I couldn't hear the game. I was tempted to burn down the barn but it was my cash cow.

I couldn't really afford to lose old Bessie. She didn't give an ounce of milk anymore but her financial advice was gold. But now Bessie wanted a cut & so I decided to burn the barn

Later, Fire Inspector Shareef O'Connel sifted through the ashes. He found a metal tag, "Bessie." He even found one rusty feather from the Bany-Hen. How long until he connected the

dots to me. I called in sick at work "I've cracked a Fallopian tube" & jetted out of Stansted. But F.I O'Connel hunted me down."For Bessie," he said as he handcuffed me on a steamy

young lethal-eyed hunk covered in Russian prison tats. I told my sumptuous cuff-mate that I had actually had a prophetic dream about this, and was willing to see where it led.