Growing up with stereotypical parents, all

Growing up with stereotypical parents, all I wanted was to be different. To cause trouble.

And make it double. Rather than reaching for the stars just yet, I built a lair in my janitor's closet at the rocket propulsion lab. From eavesdropping, I knew that adding cyanide

together with happiness would create a very successful webcomic series. Unfortunately that knowledge was not of any use in the current moment. I needed to find out more.

It turned out the reason I couldn't make a successful webcomic series was because everyone & their mother had a webcomic & none of them were at all funny. Except Pokey the Penguin.

Pokey the Penguin was really a seagull in a tuxedo. He needed a drink. Something strong and fishy. He needed to forget all the sacrifices he'd made for his career as a

mascot for Penguin Planet. Kids didn't give a rat's ass about seagulls but they'd spend $50/head to see Pokey the Penguin jump around like a damn fool. "Make it a double George."

I then noticed a dead baby mouse at the bottom. All the other parents just laughed at my situation. All except Jon Bonham who was a barrister. He offered me his card and

told me that the dead mouse was in fact a fully grown adult, in fact quite large & showing signs of senile dementia. I snapped & ripped up Jon Bonham's card in his smug, fat face

, and then walked out of the building, carrying the unconsious man in the mouse suit over my shoulder. "You will be my sidekick!" I said to the mouse-man. he didn't respond.