i left,soaking and wet

i left,soaking and wet

Of course, I don't remember the details. It was my birth day. But I never asked to be born. I'd wanted to stay inside, where it was warm & cozy. But they forcepted me, & I'm here.

Unfortunately, a forcep, in my day, was a lobster claw—no joke! A steel lobster claw…hard…and freezing cold. And the brutish doctor with the “bowling pin-like” forearms slammed the

lobster claw into my swollen mouth to pull out my infected tonsils. Unfortunately he grabbed my larynx instead. I still get sick but you won't hear me complain. I sued the doctor b

ut nothing could replace what was lost. I knew basic sign language but otherwise used a pen and paper. Years later I invented a handheld device that transmitted thoughts directly

into another's head. Unfortunately, this didn't exactly solve communication problems as thoughts are hard to distinguish when unfiltered, but it still made life easier than

But it was just an illusion. In reality, we were just two propped-up cell phones facing each other. Yet love is love, no matter if one is born or manufactured. And love is what we

manufactured on that linoleum floor. Sweet, sweet, sweaty cellphone love. She really went to town on my long external antenna & I reamed out her charge port. Our batteries overhea

Ted and we almost burned the whole block down. The news reporters wouldn't leave us alone and we had to pay a fine of 3,747 dollops.