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i left,soaking and wet

  • i left,soaking and wet

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  • Of course, I don't remember the details. It was my birth day. But I never asked to be born. I'd wanted to stay inside, where it was warm & cozy. But they forcepted me, & I'm here.

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  • Unfortunately, a forcep, in my day, was a lobster claw—no joke! A steel lobster claw…hard…and freezing cold. And the brutish doctor with the “bowling pin-like” forearms slammed the

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  • lobster claw into my swollen mouth to pull out my infected tonsils. Unfortunately he grabbed my larynx instead. I still get sick but you won't hear me complain. I sued the doctor b

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  • ut nothing could replace what was lost. I knew basic sign language but otherwise used a pen and paper. Years later I invented a handheld device that transmitted thoughts directly

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  • into another's head. Unfortunately, this didn't exactly solve communication problems as thoughts are hard to distinguish when unfiltered, but it still made life easier than

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  • it had been before. Now we could look into each others minds and understand one another, even if we didn't agree, we saw the other as human.

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  • But it was just an illusion. In reality, we were just two propped-up cell phones facing each other. Yet love is love, no matter if one is born or manufactured. And love is what we

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  • manufactured on that linoleum floor. Sweet, sweet, sweaty cellphone love. She really went to town on my long external antenna & I reamed out her charge port. Our batteries overhea

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  • Ted and we almost burned the whole block down. The news reporters wouldn't leave us alone and we had to pay a fine of 3,747 dollops.

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