Red spiders were drifting down upon the park,

Red spiders were drifting down upon the park, dangling from little silken balloons. Children played, unaware of the arachnid invasion from the sky. From my vantage point on

the roof of the bakery, I could see the balloons descending, silently, upon the park. There was little I could do from here. Quickly, I

felt totally helpless. Then my shoulders slumped. Soon I was on my way to pathetic. Finally, I just laid down on the roof thinking about the one good thing in my life,

my tacky Christmas roof decorations. I nuzzled my inflatable Rudolph and changed his nose lightbulb again, electric bill be damned (It's not like I had a family to support *sob*).

This is what happens when Santa's elves are laid off. I got nothin' and despair rose in my throat, like eating a sugar cookie without milk. I took a seasonal job at Dick's, but

got arrested by the Moron Police on the way to work for driving with an elf hat on. After that I was laid off and started collecting bottle caps I found thrown onto the street

an Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, which is a problem when I want to collect different bottle caps but my obsession won't let me. Crappy because I keep drinking the same

bottle & using the same cap. It's trying while I wait for the next beer to brew in my only bottle. But I've grown fond of its chapped bottle lip and the dregs make a fine starter

for the next brew. Sure, sometimes I had to use a broiled sardine and sooty rain water, but if I went scrounging in the Zone for a few hours, it would be ready upon my return.