It was a dark and stormy night. "No, that's

It was a dark and stormy night. "No, that's not right" thought Clive as he crumpled the paper and threw it across the room where it landed with other crumbled paper forming a giant

crumpled paper blanket that almost covered the nude woman he had hire as a muse. Damn that last paper had covered up one of the more interesting parts. Well lets start again. "It

" was his favorite Stephen King novel. The nude he hired said, "Hey, I'm not going to lay here, if you are just going to read." I took the pencil and drew

A flaccid giant penis. It reminded me of the movie Zardoz. I tried to remember the main actor in that impeccable movie and the amazing outfit he wore. It came to me as I tripped

and stumbled down memory lane, Sean Connery! His thigh high boots, red thong thing and broad mustache. Zardoz was his pinnacle! I decided to wander the streets in the same outfit.

and exterminate the navel gazing Bovinity of my time. for "The gun is good. The penis is evil". Needless to say my bright red thong and swashbuckling boots caused a stir but when

the anti-bovine NRA saw me, the stir became shaken. I took my bright red thong and Bovinity and ran from the convention all, determined to end their gun violence in the name of cow

liberty! Sadly the red thong slipped from my hands as I dashed down the stairs. Carrying a cow was hard work! Luckily the prince saw the thong and began to search the kingdom

for unsightly panty-lines. When he found me, all asked "Dare he heir that derriere?" But silence fell when my wedding march began, & I walked the aisle to Bach-Air on a G-String.