"68% of people acquainted with you are beginning

"68% of people acquainted with you are beginning to realize that you are full of shit." croaked the alarm clock. Regina must have set the alarm to angst. Well, I'm feeling anxious

but then she realized she'd set the alarm for "serene self-possession." The terrible words came from her boyfriend Ted. She said, "68%? What's the margin of error you jerk?"

"The margin of error," Ted said coldly, "is the length of your left foot divided by..." She was about to poke him in the eye when she was seized by a bout of self-possession so

she grabbed his right foot -the one she had borrowed him last night, size 9 and rather chubby I may say- and started running desperately towards the bus station as he was

He was left there standing in the middle of the street. Passers-by were moving quickly around him and cars were waiting for the green light. The only thing he had in mind was her

great big knockers. The mere memory of them rendered him useless. He stepped off the curb. A bread truck sideswiped him, knocking him back to reality. He wondered if he would ever

see her (or them!) again. Such a FOOL! WHY, he wondered, bonking himself in the forehead, did he start that stupid, stupid argument? Flipping off the breadtruck driver, he resolved

to put that wretched angel down once and for all. The bread truck was rounding Chesapeake Curve at 4:32 in the morning. The devil revved his moped, and put his plan into action.

The Devil put Hureshimodius in charge. He surveyed the damned with a clipboard & whip. Bela Lugosi suggested 'Plan 9 from Outer Space' and Ed Wood got a deal he couldn't refuse...