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one day i was riding my dirt bike when i

  • one day i was riding my dirt bike when i decide to try to jump. I got just above twenty feet when suddenly my bike slipped from under me and I

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  • died that was my last day of life. I am now a sprit forsed to rome the earth not knowing where i am, and the torment of not being seen or heard. No one to talk to but then

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  • I saw the Auditor. He approached me with a clipboard. "It says here that you are a 'Level One Tormented Spirit, Lost.' Is this your first reincarnation? yes/no?" I could only wail.

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  • "So that's yes." The Auditor scribbled on his clip board. Level 1 Tormented Spirits are always reincarnated as child stars. The Cosmic concept is basically that

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  • there's a Pragmatic Sentencing Initiative. Level 7 Tormented Spirits (those who were violent in their previous life) are reincarnated as sentient child car seat dummies. An example

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  • of putting a dystopia like Dante's Inferno into practice that failed for more obscure reasons than Mein Kampf & Das Kapital. Sentient crash test dummies Vince & Larry escaped Hell

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  • & complained that Dante clearly did no empirical research for his overspun drivel. The next high school assignment book the crash dummies Vince & Lar had to endure was yet another

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  • mythical adventure: love. Vince & Lar rolled their eyes as they were forced to read Romeo & Juliet. Vince got on "F" on his paper for making the argument that Romeo must have been

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  • too much of a playa to be that into Juliette. Vincent made an airplane out of his paper & shot it at Lar who caught it, mashed it into a ball & ate it. Ms Peabody, their English te

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  • acher, lost it, stood on a desk & said "O Captain my Captain,you can call me Ray or you can call me Jay or call me Mr. Tibbs but don't call me Shirley."The next day they had a sub.

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