The world is spinning as I wake up to the

The world is spinning as I wake up to the sound of thunder. The dark colors swirl around the room in an epileptic mess as the lightning continues to strike. Where is my wife?

Her pillow wasn't even touched. In another strobe of the lightning, I see that the closet door is banging back and forth with a muffled thump. "Oh..," I thought, "It's back again."

It was his old "friend," the poltergeist, the spirit of the previous homeowner. This was the type of guy that would bang change in his pocket and overuse phrases like "WINNING."

But he was a poltergeist nonetheless, so he allowed his old supremely annoying "friend" to join the angry ghost club. What made him such a pest was that

his friend had low self-esteem. Nothing worse than a whining, insecure poltergeist. who was unable to make decisions about where to throw vases and whatnot. The other poltergeists

got into a huddle and found an inspirational quote for him. "You need a backbone, not a wishbone!" they screeched. "FFS, I'm a poltergeist... I'm incorporeal you bunch of idiots,"

Gregor of the Haunted PJs brightened. "How about: 'Knock it off -- just knock it off'?" then shrugged. "Hey, it's hard to come up with an inspirational quote for a poltergeist!" Ch

Allenged by the King and Queen of the Haunted PJs, I was determined to put my foot in the door and get the job I wanted at mcdonalds after applying eight times. Long overdue, mum

complained about carrying the child for four years now, having promised not to go into labor until I was employed. The King and Queen of the Haunted PJs kept me from being hired at