I made a pilgrimage to Glenturret distillery

I made a pilgrimage to Glenturret distillery for two reasons: 1) The Naked Grouse was my house whiskey & 2) I had a mouse problem & wanted to hire their mouser softpaw Towser Jr.

the Third. He was a beast of a man, and a man of a mouser, if I've ever seen one. Which I hadn't before I met him, so moot point I guess? Any way, I brought Mr. Towser to my mice

colony so he could ride herd on those rapscallions. It'd been all well and good when it was just a little back-squeak and cheese sneak. But I needed a hardcore mouse whisperer to

get Richard Gere to read my script. It was about a painter who fought crime at night. Only, he had split personalities and was also a criminal. This led to a colossal

battle between the artist and his own creative output. During the day, he would leave messages for his perceived nemesis. At night, forgetting his daylight life, our protagonist

went to bed. Protagonists need to sleep too!

In an unexpected plot twist, the Protagonist was awoken by the Antagonist, who, in a dramatic monologue full of hyperbole, shared a biographical anecdote which foreshadowed

the painfully long-winded gloating the Antagonist would deliver when the Protagonist was at his mercy. Blearily, the Protagonist wondered why the Antagonist was in his bedroom at 5

a.m.? Then that the Protagonist realized his opportunity. Sneaking to the bathroom, the Protagonist returned with a can of shaving cream & carefully decorated the Antagonist's face