She was 12 years old but in charge of Microsoft.

She was 12 years old but in charge of Microsoft. Brilliant, evil, sophisticated, she'd taken her Dell laptop and turned it into the world's most powerful little engine. She

had a master plan to legitimatize indentured servitude. She'd started a small non-profit with Angelina Jolie to facilitate international human trafficking, oops I mean adoptions.

When AJ "adopted" enough children, the next phase would begin. Phase Omega.

to become self-sufficient in potatoes. Albert Leroy Jinkens and his communist kidnapped children planted acres of spuds in a freezing wet Spring. They got trench foot but were livi

my...well, surviving. ALJ became known among the village people simply as "Bert." He & his children opened a small cafe that served food made only from potatoes. Masses of

people would crowd into the small cafe hoping to get a glorious helping of au gratin, or twice baked concoctions, made from these delectable spuds. The other restaurant owners were

not nearly as enamored with taters as Mr. Potato head, but they couldn't argue with success. Little did they know Mr. P. had dispatched Uncle Russet & was feeding customers the

remains of both he and their third cousin (twice removed). It bears mentioning that, while cannibalism is naturally frowned upon,

some people like it. Take Mr Dahmer for instance. Word is that he liked clowns, too, all except for the funny flavor.