Martin loved words. He never tired of new

  • Martin loved words. He never tired of new euphemisms for his snack,his crane,his ho-ho,his little fireman,his pogo stick,his proteinaceous milkshake maker,his pugnacious

  • pickled pepper, or his rectal thermometer. Martin (aka CunningLinguist) had reached cult status on Urban Dictionary. He went back to add his latest ideas: "Whore d'oeuvres (noun):

  • The unnecessary foreplay conducted by an amateur whore monger. "After my third trip to Vegas I learned to skip the whore d'oeuvres." Martin had another entry for Urban Dictionary:

  • but he couldn't type because Martin was back on crack. He had a dream that he was in a marathon and woke up jogging naked down the 405 freeway

  • & got fined for jogging in the carpool lane.To him the dream was saying: naked is ok but no jogging, cars or pools, & cops could give his life direction. He walked naked into the p

  • lease Touch Museum- an unfortunate name for a kid's museum -made more awkward by his nakedness. Surely cops would swarm him here; he stopped aghast. All were naked and the only cop

  • was too, standing there with his billy club for all the world to see. The naked cop pointed it at him & then to a small sign: "No clothes required to enter Please Touch museum."

  • He took all of his clothes off and entered the Please Touch museum, joining the milling naked throng. He touched a **** with his ***** which then ******. He felt the need to lie do

  • wn in order to **** the ***** better, but the floor was already occupied by the ghost of a swamp ghoul. It stared balefully at him. "Filthy human," it gurgled before squirting

  • a stream of pungent, green fluid at him. He closed his eyes, waiting for the burn of his face falling off, or his eyes rotting or something. 'You're clean now,' it says, grinning.



  1. PurpleProf Sep 27 2013 @ 20:12

    BuddyBoy...you're killing me... :D

  2. buddyboy4711 Sep 27 2013 @ 20:56

    Aww, just makin' jokes. I know how to spell like one French thing, and naturally I whored it up.

  3. PurpleProf Sep 28 2013 @ 00:39

    I laughed so hard I think a few more cancer cells died, so THANKS!

  4. buddyboy4711 Sep 28 2013 @ 02:08

    I've suspected for quite some time that I have superpowers; the evidence mounts. Regardless, just keep doing that thing you always do where you kick an obscene amount of ass, and you'll be good to go. ;)

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