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One day I was walking down the road when,

  • One day I was walking down the road when, out of nowhere, Caroline came running up to me screaming

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  • Oh my goodness oh my goodness, what the

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  • dealy, yo? The hip hop interrogatory rang throughout Disney's Matterhorn ride. The ride had stopped. They trapped at the peak. The animatronic snow beast

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  • was replaced by the amniotic beast, and Disneyland was never the same again. This is what happens when anti-abortion activists gain control of

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  • people's morals. Everything falls apart, and one after another, major corporate bodies such as Nike lose money. But this chain doesn't have to continue. All you have to do is

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  • go back to the barter system. If more people were required to thresh grain before getting an Xbox, they might have fuller lives and meaningful deaths.

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  • My 8 year old frowned at me. "Right Dad, sure, like whatevs". I handed him a scythe. "You shall pay me in calluses. Two calluses for dinner. Four for dessert. An Xbox costs

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  • a year's worth of correctly sorted recycling into the blue crate, the clear recycling bags, the large bin with the green lid and the black bin. No 8 year old could possibly succeed

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  • in the task before little Peter G. but Pete was no ordinary 8 year old. Not only was all the green glass, PET plastic, and paper in the right bin, but the cadmium and lead batterie

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  • s were also in place. Everything was ready to go,or so Pete thought. Just as he was preparing to finish, his mom called, "Petie! Time for dinner! Lasagna!" Pete dropped it & ran.

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