I looked down. -ETA?-. I typed -Can't text.
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I looked down. -ETA?-. I typed -Can't text. Driving.- I looked up just before impacting an oak tree at 65 mph. I had neither a seatbelt nor a windshield but a large gust of wind
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came on as a headwind and inexplicably decelerated me to result in only a slight 'bump' into the tree. An acorn gingerly fell onto the hood of my car and rolled down to driver's si
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de where the acorn bumped against the windshield, and another gust carried it around and through the window into my lap. I sat there stunned, in my Corolla against the oak. Was I
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alive? I picked up the acorn & rolled it between my bloody fingers. It seems I was and this...this little nut must be the reason why, I reasoned. My lucky acorn, it saved my life!
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However, this acorn was not an acorn. it was a cluster of nanotechnology, programmed to stimulate luck! however, it was also programmed to destroy the human race. How i knew this,
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I'll never know. I'm not sure that I even know that I knew it. Can I know something if I don't know that I do, Mr. Squirrel?" The squirrel, with its lucky acorn lunch, became deaf
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to my existential crisis. I peered into his beady eyes and saw the void staring back. Oh, cruel squirrel, harbinger of death tell me no more! He held the acorn in a miser's grip.
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The goat of existential angst glared at me as eyed the squirrel's acorn, while the the magpie of narcissism pointedly ignored me and the woodchuck of self-loathing curled up around
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the beaver of hyper-criticism. Snow White had wandered into the wrong forest. The goat of existential angst started chewing on the leaves of self-defeat. The narcissistic magpie
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looked up from the pool of self obsession and held up the Apple of Knowledge in a gnarled claw. Snow White took the fruit. She hesitated, then bit into its sour flesh.
10
- Started
- 2013-02-10 03:15:02
- Finished
- 2013-02-26 04:40:47
26 Comments
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lucielucie Feb 26 2013 @ 05:19
Looks like I've posted twice again. Hope I'm not. Remaking the site with all my manic posting.
lucielucie Feb 26 2013 @ 05:26
You know what, iPad's fascist autocorrect is getting on my nerves! What I wrote above isn't the tiniest bit near what I wanted to say. But it's not worth typing it all out again, checking it etc.
PurpleProf Feb 26 2013 @ 10:42
LucieLucie...you must now be in possession of the lucky acorn, 'cause I just gave you double points!!
PurpleProf Feb 26 2013 @ 10:50
One other possibility... Perhaps you were being telepathic with yourself?
49erFaithful Feb 26 2013 @ 11:19
The repeated folds started a little while ago and don't happen often. Every other time I've seen it, the FS founders correct it. And yeah, iPads are great but touch screen typing is clunky.
noah Feb 26 2013 @ 11:47
Hi, guys. The repeated folds happen when you press the submit button twice (usually on an iPad). We're working on a fix, but it might take a few days.
lucielucie Feb 26 2013 @ 13:02
Thanks Noah! So it's not the magic acorn, my new psychic abilities or Steve Job's ghost in my machine. It's me being a butterfingers. Maybe making the submit button absolutely MASSIVE would help - just an idea...
lucielucie Feb 26 2013 @ 13:04
I've just had to press the button 3 times to submit the last message. I have to press it a very special way otherwise It gets the blue copy thingy on it.
lucielucie Feb 26 2013 @ 13:07
Thanks for the double points PurpleProf! (Don't know if I've still got them though).
noah Feb 26 2013 @ 13:34
Ask and ye shall receive. The button has been enlarged and slightly tweaked for mobile styling. A few more backend tweaks should make duplicate lines a thing of the past. Thanks for folding everyone!
PurpleProf Feb 26 2013 @ 13:38
Well, Noah, while you are in the mood... Could you also give us prizes for our folds? Like, um...money??
49erFaithful Feb 26 2013 @ 14:00
Wait a minute, you mean we're not getting paid for this? Thanks for the info and tweaks Noah!
lucielucie Feb 26 2013 @ 14:02
ProfPurple - Noah's far too busy tweaking backends to think about your outrageous demands.
PurpleProf Feb 26 2013 @ 14:06
Well, he did say "Ask and ye shall receive" after all. And I did ask politely. OK, I suppose our entertainment here is payment enough. I retract my request.
buddyboy4711 Feb 26 2013 @ 14:10
But if Noah isn't paying me after all, then who keeps sending me all this mystery money? Problems, man.
lucielucie Feb 26 2013 @ 14:18
ProfPurple - when Noah wrote about backend tweaking, it made me think about the fold you wrote about tweaking the proposal at Naughty Romances. I didn't think you'd go so far as to withdraw your reasonable request!
noah Feb 26 2013 @ 14:21
When this site starts making money, we can revisit spreading the wealth!
PurpleProf Feb 26 2013 @ 14:22
Hmmmm... Well then, LucieLucie, do you think if I tweaked my request, he might consent? There is something to be said for tweaking...as well as shenanigans.
lucielucie Feb 26 2013 @ 15:13
I don't know, ProfPurple, It's always worth a try. Just don't make him remember the site makes no money.
BlastedHeath Feb 26 2013 @ 20:53
@Noah -- I think this site is spreading a different kind of wealth ;-) @People who live in two or more worlds -- please only press "submit" in one of them. @Time-travelers -- well, do your best. Keep a log or something.
BlastedHeath Feb 26 2013 @ 21:05
BTW, one of the funniest stories I've read.
m80 Mar 23 2013 @ 19:14
Keep an eye out for an affectionate poke (and perhaps help finish??) at lucielucie's multiple submit button pressing here: http://foldingstory.com/kb01u/; and the following (it would be fun if they all were finished at the same time): http://foldingstory.com/svwe7/; http://foldingstory.com/svwe72/; http://foldingstory.com/svwe71/. Cheers!
lucielucie Mar 24 2013 @ 09:36
I want to thank everyone in advance for helping me deal with my psycho Burmese stalker issues once and for all. (Just look at that lovely massive submit button).
SlimWhitman Mar 24 2013 @ 20:13
Wow, just stumbled across this lenghty thread - so now I finally know why the submit button is 3 sizes larger than before. Great story by the way. It reminds me a lot of another one. I think the acorns are from the same tree.. http://foldingstory.com/4r06a/
BlastedHeath Mar 26 2013 @ 20:29
These days, you don't have to OBEY, you just have to SUBMIT ;-)
noah Mar 26 2013 @ 21:36
Put on the glasses!