I just happened to remark in the weekly sales

I just happened to remark in the weekly sales meeting that we all needed to get our ducks on the same page. I was arrested next morning by the Grammar Police for Metaphor Abuse &

2nd degree malapropism. The Grammar Police slammed me in the kisser & kicked me in my nymph glands. I've walked with a limp ever since. I finally got my ducks in a tizzy &

a side of fries. How do I get revenge on the grammar police? Video. I had video-taped the whole thing. No probable cause, whippings with commas, choke holds with semi-colons.

Punctuation errors were not allowed in this class, but the students had no previous grammar learning experiences. So all of them had to take the test three times, not using laptops

The first sentence that they had to parse was: That everyman had a stake in a common future was an unstated assumption that was never questioned. But where did it come from?

"From the Devil!" yelled Aunt Judy, her eyes rolling back in head as she clawed off her 'Puppies R Luv" sweatshirt and dropped to the stadium floor. Reverand Chuck began to sweat

bullets. That porkfat ribeye he'd had for lunch wasn't sitting well with Chuck, and he had a congregation to exorcise. Why must he have been born so fat? Then he had an idea:

He would perform the exorcism out-of-body. He exited the crown of his head and floated over to the church. His obesity had no affect on his ethereal body. The congregation writhing

“How the hell am I supposed to do that? MOVE my HOUSE?? You know how much that thing weighs?” “No, how much?” “Try 70 tons, ASS HAT!” “Well, don’t try lifting it all by yourself!"