So today started off a bit unusual. It began

So today started off a bit unusual. It began with activated charcoal, some coffee filters and a whole bunch of alcohol. Luckily, my partner in crime (who rarely steers me in the

right direction) was there to drink my latest concoction. Wowsers! This has a kick he said as he fell off his bar stool. I danced around the bar in celebration, because I created

on their backs and passed out, thumpity thump thump. I threw them in the corner. A warlock hovered in saying, "I have more power than you." Heh, amusing. His spells vs. MY liquor?

I wove back ... and forth. I took another slug from the Flask of Amontillo. and exhaled through my torch. The warlock arced toward the Beast's pit like a downed firefly.

I took another slug. Yeah, Amontillo. Like Amontillado, but cheaper. Probably cut with lighter fluid. I downed the rest of the bottle and tossed it into the Beast's pit, ready for

the sound of munching glass and the contented purring of the Beast, the only delights in my despair, though I must admit I did find my gaunt self sexy in that dungeon of Amontillo

in old Moorish Spain. Once I'd escaped, no-one else found me sexy. "What's your problem?" I shouted, "I'm size zero - any smaller & I'd be negative space." The Beast of Amontillo

shook his shaggy head, stuck out his great grey-green hairy tongue & slurped me from head to toe. Guess that meant he liked me after all. I draped my mantilla provocatively across

my ruby red lips."Via con Dios, my darling" I whispered as fled from his grasp and into the dark Spanish night.