I followed the mysterious girl into her apartment

I followed the mysterious girl into her apartment building. I knew how this probably looked, but I didn't care. She was so beautiful. With her dark hair and big round

Hoop earrings, those were some lobes! So, I totally look like a stalker when I step into the building. I wait by the mailboxes, trying to figure out my next move. I saw her pic up

this huge box and thought about how it was definitely time to make my move. I quickly jumped out, smiled and said, "

You Only Live Once!" But the Chesire cat smiled and said, "Don't you mean you only live 9 times?"

I flattened my ears & hissed at the smug Cheshire Cat. "And YOU, Chessy,how many lives have you gone through?Let's find out!" I lunged at his throat & tore it out. "I'm still alive

with the Sound of Music." Ugh, I hate that fucking movie, so I ripped the Cheshire Cat into so many pieces that not even Maria could solve it. That done I decided I was hungry

and it was the type of hunger only 10 Doritos loco tacos could satisfy. I called a cab, because with this taco craving, I was in no condition to drive and while I waited outside a

harmless chick walked by, a bag of tacos in her pudgy hands. FIRST! I grabbed the bag and hopped into my cab, chewing while ordering the driver to cruise and look out for the next

person walking down the street with food in their mitts. I was hungry,and nothing tasted better than grub mugged from innocent pedestrians. In a way, this was my personal drive-thu