"Ms. Stevens, I have a question." Ms. Stevens

"Ms. Stevens, I have a question." Ms. Stevens scanned her lesson plan for any mention of questions. Nothing. The chaos was palpable, like improv class all over again. Panic set in.

Dougie smirked. He could smell her fear, and he liked it. As he prepared to flummox the wary substitute, Tom, who thought she was totally hot, whacked him with his ruler.

"Pay attention, you idiot!" Tom snarled, pinching Dougie's nostrils shut, ignoring his own lusty longings. The girl grinned & waggled her fingers at them. Broccoli was stuck in her

wanted to be with a human girl for once. Chasing that stupidly lucky mouse for years had left him unfulfilled. But, now, Tom could touch a girl. He was going to play Dr. like a pro

. "Meow," he said to the lovely specimen of human femininity. "Meow, mew. Meow meow mew meow purr." She laughed and clapped, "Kitty!" She hugged him tight. Tom was good-- too good

for tins of Whiskers and the odd tummy rub. Tom wanted to dine a la carte every night on finest wild rodent. He wanted Lola the Siamese spend the night yowling with him until at da

ybreak they slinked away to their comfy cat beds. But Tom would never have any of these things because now he was a hobo with a 5 day beard, a cigar butt & a bundle tied to a stick

Tom hopped onto a passing freight car. Scratching his belly, he watched the passing telephone poles. He pondered, Is there tuna on the open road for a tramp were-cat?

"Red herring" he whispered musingly, and started nodding off to the sound the railroad was making. "thu-thud. thu-thud. thu-thud". Tom kept on him a