Looking back on it all now, I realize that

Looking back on it all now, I realize that there are still questions I couldn't answer, solutions I couldn't offer, revisions I wished I'd proposed. The awful truth was that the

the day I agreed to Marry Dan Quayle I was out of my mind. I was under the strain of a torrential PMS hormone stampede, a gallon of Nyquil and Decaslim. I slogged through that

rage filled, panicked nod storm determined not to answer any questions verbally but unfortunately, his proposal came in the form of a note with yes, no and maybe check boxes.

He thought about submitting his proposal in the form of a Magic 8 Ball. However, the

make electricity from potatoes. The Idaho Governor had a way to power the planet! Only one thing stood in his way: Ore Ida Foods! Every time they shipped a truckload of tatertots,

all the bored midwestern kids would make really bad Napolean Dynamite impressions to each other with every semi they saw. "Let me have your 'tots!" they'd giggle and shout.

But they still wouldn't vote for Pedro. Not now, now in a million years, and there's nothing in the world that could make them change their minds. Except, maybe, a

raving endorsement from Cowboy TV! Everyone loves Cowboy TV, so his word was enough to persuade their votes!

Later investigation revealed the scandal that involved the man calling himself "Cowboy TV," and his cohorts. He stood trial and was found guilty, then locked away for life.