5th Grade

5th Grade

It took eight painfully written journals, $12,000+ in therapist bills, countless tears, and two mental breakdowns to figure out that's where it all started. 5th Grade.

Suzie Jenkins had given everyone in class a valentines day card with a real chocolate, but he go one of those pasty pink hearts that taste like dried up toothpaste. 30 yrs later he

still had it & he has never forgiven Suzie Jenkins either. The pasty pink candy heart said "Bite Me" on it. So at the 30th class reunion, Mike decided to have a little fun with Suz

ie Jenkins by placing his false teeth in her glass of punch. Suzie Jenkins hadn't changed much since high school because she'd has so much plastic surgery. Mike found

Suzie on Facebook. When Mike Tyson showed up at her door she screamed, "Mike!" And her false teeth fell out. Mike said, "Woah, crazy teeth!" He highfived her. Then he said,

some real butter for genuine popcorn during their first date the following night. "Hey Suzie," Mike Tyson asked,"what Blu-ray you wanna watch?" "I dunno." She yawned. "Lion King?"

"You know I auditioned for the part of Pumba, right?" Tyson absent-mindedly traced a finger along his face tattoo. But Suzie wasn't even listening to him, too focused on pulling

pigeons out of his ass. He could not part ways with his feathered friends, so he smuggled them through customs. "Coo-hoo" sang the resilient brids while they were being shat.