We finished suiting up and approached the

We finished suiting up and approached the door. Being gentlemen, we rang the doorbell and waited five seconds before kicking the door down.

Suddenly a giant penis sprouted from her forehead. She thwacked it about knocking me unconscious. I woke completely drenched in a sticky substance. I used my pregnancy test kit and

determined that I was pregnant with the unborn child of a dancing midget. What's more, the test revealed that the female snail penis count was going down. I had a lot to digest and

morning sickness wasn't helping. I rang all 7 of the possible fathers & asked them to undergo a lie detector test re. their whereabouts in the Magic Forest on the night of 8 March

in some Year of Our Lord or another. Each of them failed, but they could not all be the father -- or could they? I asked renowned atheo-biologist Richard Dawkins if polypaternity

was the full Christian name of Rocky Balboa's brother in law. Richard Dawkins stubbed out his roach and inhaled deeply. He thought about this as his assistant readied another

bowl full of tomatoes. "These taste AMAZING," Dr. Dawkins said as he ate one slowly. "Do you have any eyedrops? I have a conference tonight." His assistant said, "But Rocky Bal

boa will be there & well, you know what that means!" Dr. Dawkins chewed thoughtfully. "Hmmm...That's true. I will just have to land the first punch on ol' Rocky." He squeezed

into his leather fisticuffs apparatus. Dawkins gnawed at the strings, waiting for the bell. "Land one, set the tone. DEATH OR GLORY!" The bell rang. Dawkins sauntered into fate.