I was dancing in my room like a spastic,

I was dancing in my room like a spastic, but then all of a sudden my left leg broke underneath me and i headbutted my bedroom door.

The microphone flew out of my hand and landed

right in the punchbowl. This was my first gig and I blew it. Do u know how hard it is to sing for a bunch of toddlers at a birthday party? Sometimes the wheels on the bus DONT go

"You what?" said the mom with the sour expression. "I'm letting my accordion speak for me," I said cryptically. My accordion wheezed and as one, the toddlers fell to the floor scre

aming in spiritual ecstasy. My little brother pointed at me and said, "That accordion will bring you fame and glory." My mother snickered at me. She said, "Al Yankovic, put that ac

Cordion away". I don't know why but that made me angry, made me want to play the dammed thing more and play it harder. Squeeze it like there's no tomorrow

. "Mama's got a squeeze box and daddy doesn't sleep at night" I wailed frantically flagelating the stomach steinway. Then someone kicked my concertina and there was a pitful

thwonk from the bagpipes. The conductor glowered, the third oboe spit, and a general malaise settled over the scene. "you were saying," said the limp baton, "about your mother."

"Ah, yes!" the actor regained memory, "My last night with my mother was when she ate my old bagpipe..." The conductor grinned.