"Go ahead" I said. "Take one". I could tell

"Go ahead" I said. "Take one". I could tell everything I needed to know by what flavor Jolly Rancher each candidate selected. ~Apple~ Hmm, hadn't counted on that. This called for

complete rejection. I pushed the lever & the unsuspecting candidate fell through the floor. The trap door snapped shut. "Next!" I called & held out my candy dish. "Jolly Rancher?"

But the rancher wasn't so jolly. This candidate had a grim beard and pin hole eyes. I grabbed for the lever but he said, "Wait. I have an absurd joke to tell you." So I waited.

do doing, so why don't you do do it somewhere else?" He smiled. I smiled back and edged away silently. Kept my eyes on him the whole time. It didn't make sense

that he kept repeating "do" before every single "do." "What are you do doing backing up?" he asked, his voice sickly sweet. I wanted to bolt but I knew his horse legs would be fast

Enough to catch Mr. Squirrel and family eating my sunflowers. Horse legs, especially when. You have four of them, are a really good hunting tool and a free one at that. Better than

fried chicken legs any day of the week, plus horse legs come in much larger portions. A bucket, you say? Ha! Try a barrel of horse legs! It's a much better value for your family

It's cheaper too, why would you pay extra just to know what's in your food. I for one enjoy kangaroo ribs, really try it it's better then it seems!

And that concludes my tips on how to survive as a meat eater amongst a society crawling with big-headed vegans and fancy so and so's.