By age five, she was released from her Skinner

By age five, she was released from her Skinner box into the wilds of Kindergarten.

Upon passing through the big doors for the first time, she sniffed. Hmmmm. Something had gone down recently. Maybe sex. Maybe violence. Either way, this kindergarten's garden

was sorely lacking in kidneys. This would upset the plutocracy who only allowed public education because they had to keep the poor alive long enough to harvest organs from. She

had tried soylent green before but never could get used to the flavour. It wasn't like sausages which are made from arseholes and lips. It was much more

slimy. It was like eating a sea cucumber basted in Vic's Vapor Rub. But the problem with Soylent Green wasn't the flavor. It is what it does to your colon.

And what it does to what comes out of your colon. Soylent Green then made it into the groundwater & eventually into the sky. Soon the whole earth smelled of Vics Vapor Rub.

Thusly, Vic felt completed and, there being nothing left to achieve, decided that it was time to die. He flew to Helsinki, snowmobiled to the far north, removed his clothing, and

walked into the frozen wastes. Vic remembered nothing more until he woke up wrapped in a fresh reindeer pelt. A Sami woman was brewing a potion of lingonberries and hallucinogens

grin that made her skeletal face look even more wicked. "Welcome to Kalevala, Vic," she said in a rattling voice. He closed his eyes. The cup fell from his hand.