I'd take headphones over a concert any day,
I'd take headphones over a concert any day, but dad wanted me to get a realer metal concert experience. A black blur, he entered my room violently enough to break the mosh barrier.8
He dragged me into a beat-up convertible and brought me to a Beach Boys concert. In South America. "What's metal about this?" I asked. "It grates on the ears," my dad responded.8
Finally it was time to reassess my relationship with dad. He was fat, a loud mouth and enjoyed tasting his own burps. I needed to disown him, in a major way. So I picked up the box8
Filled it with natural gas remedies and weight loss remedies, and gave it to him. I was moving into my own flat that afternoon. How lucky it was the movers showed up early?6
I asked them to help me move the natural gas tanks into my apartment. I was really hoping to try that remedy as soon as I could. The weight loss ones, not so much. I was a growing5
pain in the side of my landlord. He despised my penchant for collecting obscure chemicals in large quantities. But I knew one of them would cure me, although most would kill me.6
Then one fateful day I came home to find that he had put my entire pharmacological collection out on the sidewalk, along with my orange suede beanbag chair and my Timothy Leary7
Leather Suede Divan. Suffice it to say, I wasn’t happy, specially upon seeing my Richard Pryor crack pipe in the gutter. He stood in the 2nd floor window urinating down on my stash6
. "Welp, guess I need to quit crack," I sighed, staring at the urine-soaked rock candy. I drafted a list of new possible hobbies: parasailing, model rockets, murder? I crossed out7
Parasailing. I'd always hated heights. I could always murder people with model rockets? Or rob a bank and buy loads of crack. Yeah, thats it, I'll buy a bunch of crack, sell my TV.7
- 2013-08-19 10:02:31
- 2020-05-26 15:24:29
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LordVacuity May 26 2020 @ 17:23
Just goes to show that crack isn't all it is cracked up to be.
Jimbeau May 26 2020 @ 23:23
I don't know, LordVacuity, it CRACKed me up. I'm cracking. Crack. Crack. Crack.
LordVacuity May 27 2020 @ 00:40
There once was a folder named Jimbeau Who cracked like a cracker can't though. Picked the pieces up Put them in a cup Baked for 3 minutes and he's ready to go.
StigMartyr May 27 2020 @ 05:00
There once was a folder named LordVacuity Who rhymed in a flash of spontaneity He has a fine rack Smokes a bunch of crack Then disappears into ambiguity
LordVacuity May 27 2020 @ 20:37
BTW, I've have been more than once. I've been several times just as I've been writing this.
Woab May 28 2020 @ 15:42
There once was a folder, StirMartyr, Who wrote funny folds, for a starter, I found him in Dorset Wearing a corset and smiling like President Carter.
Woab May 28 2020 @ 15:45
There once was a folder named Woab Who mis-typed names and was sorry. She also wanted to rhyme Lynda Carter But couldn't because it didn't fit the rhythm scheme. Shoot.
SlimWhitman Jun 02 2020 @ 09:22
There once was a folder named MoralEnd whose folds were often twisted or off the deep end. Sometimes his lines undermine the story's designs but often his wit caught a spark and it lit this number one folder really had grit.