Do your elbows chafe as you browse the information

Do your elbows chafe as you browse the information superhighway? With just a dollop of bacon grease, your problems will be solved. Some other useful tips:

Elmer's glue can be used to keep your eyes open - simple squeeze a few drops into each eye, wait five minutes to set, then surf to your heart's desire, safe in the knowledge that

by 9 am your eyes will still be wide open for your morning university lecture on 'Applying for Recognition of Prior Learning' with Prof. Guff. Elmer's Glue can also be used for

gluing two pieces of wood together. Who'da thunk it? Now, what I'm about to tell you will SHOCK you. You WILL NOT believe your ears! But it is nevertheless ABSOLUTELY TRUE! I

will tell you something stupendous, alarming. This thing that I will utter, will send you reeling, why you will be flabbergasted and thunderstruck and its all true. I let

the IRS know that their collection of taxes from me was unconstitutional and that I'd be discontinuing all tax collection about 5 years ago. I've been living with an extra 35% and

using those funds to build up a massive arsenal in my impregnable home. All was well until the day my nanny goat got stuck in the mined anti-tank traps surrounding chez moi.

The nanny- goat's husband freed her and for three years they have lived in Monkberry Village, where Buddhist monks from Vietnam care for them. They get to eat their favourite food,

garbage, prepared expertly by the monks for the nanny goat and her husband. Spaghetti and garbage, Duck l'Garbage, garbage over rice, garbage pie... what meals they had, looking