An invisible hand tapped my shoulder. "If

An invisible hand tapped my shoulder. "If you're feeling down, buy stuff," it spake. Come to think of it, my wad of numbered paper was way less gratifying than a burrito. The Hand

led me to Pancho Villa Taqueria on 16th street. The hand ordered an especial carne asada burrito for me. Tasty, but I was still despondent. "You must buy more," suggested the hand.

But i was still despondent. This world is a rotting corpse with a little water in it.

Some said I was a prickly pear, but I thought I was an honest man enduring a wasteland. Some gasped about the dryness of their spiritual life. What would Marcus Aurelius do? I took

the liberty of translating one of his aphorisms from Latin. 'Whatever may befall you, it was preordained for you from everlasting.' So I thought I'd better just get on with it. I g

rabbed a pencil and began to write. "Dear God, It has come to my attention that since my life is fated by you, I would request some adjustments. Item 1: Increased funding

5: a longer vacation would also be nice. You said you'd give me the desires of my heart, right God? 6: Also, please do something about Rodney in the next cubicle. He bugs the hell

...uh, heck out of me (sorry, God). 7: If it would not be asking too much, God, would you also provide me with the cure for cancer? That would help a lot. 8: Another thing,

about this "death" thing. Are you SURE it's for everyone? I mean, I personally don't think its a great fit for me. Of course, you know best. I'm just gonna skip 9 and 10... Thanks.