There I was in my one piece at the 2013 Muff
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There I was in my one piece at the 2013 Muff Dive for the Cure, poised precariously at the end of the board. 100 feet below, a tank of muffs, with a school of muff sharks lazily
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combing themselves when I recalled that my dentist had warned me not to get hair in my teeth because it was bad for my braces. But I couldn't back out now. "This is not my mustache
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, this mustache is my LIFE!" I didnt care that it had food bits in it, or that a family of bald eagles were eyeing it for nesting purposes. It took me years 2 grow it & nothing was
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going to stop me from entering this year's National Beard and Moustache Championships. I vowed revenge ever since Patrick Gorman beat me in Lancaster's 2011 event winning my $600.
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Patrick hadn't shaved since, so I went with style over substance, hence the moustache dreadlocks. Why I provided the $600 top prize out of pocket is a mystery. An amish challenger
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could easily complete such a trial as competitive facial hair growing. Suddenly, I hear the hammer of a gun click behind me. It was Agent Michael Scarn. "Miss me?" he said.
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"In your dreams," I growled, reaching into my pocket as I turned around. Agent Scarn had lowered his gun. "That—that was you?" he said, suddenly vulnerable. "My dream journal
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...you READ it?!" "I did indeed," I growled again, "I have to admit, I was flattered." to which Agent Scam replied,"You won't tell my wife about what I wrote in my dream journal,
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"Your dreams are safe with me, Agent Scam," I said. Your wife probably doesn't want to know about that one involving the monkey in the Channel Tunnel anyway. I put the journal into
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my bra and walked away hoping that against all odds he wouldnt tell anyone about my dream and what it could mean.
4
- Started
- 2013-02-18 11:45:20
- Finished
- 2013-03-02 09:34:08
4 Comments
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MangoMania Mar 04 2013 @ 15:17
In case anyone was curious about the historical events behind my fold: http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/category/results/ Agent Scarn totally crashed the fold, he probably won't get invited to go out with the rest of the improv class.
PurpleProf Mar 04 2013 @ 19:17
That link is great, MangoMania... And it was this story that served as proof positive that I need new glasses. I just realized I typed Agent Scam instead of Agent Scarn... Why don't you start again with the beard championship idea?
MangoMania Mar 05 2013 @ 10:27
I will, but fair warning Squawkers and Agent Scarn might be entering the moustache competition.
MangoMania Mar 05 2013 @ 10:33
http://foldingstory.com/7dtyf/