Circumcising a boy under the age of 18, even

Circumcising a boy under the age of 18, even for religious reasons is

a great way to lose weight," said Jillian Michaels. Sure, she couldn't empathize with the boys' pain. But she had the studio audience hooked. "Another great way to shed pounds is

literally shuck it away with a big carving knife. Yes, honeys, just like that. Just shuck it away!" Then Jillian Michaels screamed out in pain, blood spraying on her audience.

It took 45 minutes to repace the filthy audience with a new one. The blood-stained one tried to shower it off, but the blood would never wash away. Never.

bitter regret and 1-ply toilet paper. Their spirits were soiled, and all but the boldest of cinemaniacs and online reviewers stayed for Act 2. "We just aren't ready for the fourth

remake of Death on the Installment Plan! And we never will be! It's not for an American audience. Try Scandinavia." Tarantino stood and put sunglasses over the sunglasses which

made things superdark. He drew himself up to his full 4 foot & said emotionally, "I will take Death on the Instalment Plan to Bergmann himself." Tarantino was Oslo-bound before you

can skewer a danish with a samurai sword. Mind, in Denmark, they don't call them Danishes. Anyway 'The Little Man' Quentin exhumes Bergman & pitches 'Death on the Installment Plan'

to the producers. When he finished there was dead silence in the room. "BRILLIANT!" Mr. Knudsen exclaimed, pushing a contract across the desk. "Sign here."