Danny flipped on the siren and lights and

Danny flipped on the siren and lights and pulled onto the road. He recognized Jack's car and knew that Jack had to be stopped at all costs. Two days ago

Jack had robbed a Bank in Bakersfield. Since they claimed to be all out of money he took their supply of complimentary ashtrays and a cute clerk as collateral and headed south on

a bender not seen since Hunter S Thompson's early days. Jack was high on peyote, booze, and Elmer's but what he really wanted was some nitrous. The clerk he'd absconded with was

entirely made out of nitrous. He was from a gaseous planet inhabited by iguana's and bats. He took a Booey knife and slashed his chest. Jack inhaled as the nitrous rushed from the

crude gash in his chest spewed Nitrogen that combined with the rooms Oxygen quickly forming nitrous oxide and everyone started laughing. Enough he said and sealed his chest wound.

The nitrous oxide worked its way through his system and gave him laughing-gas gas. Making an attempt at humour, he said, "Guys, I smell funny." Their laughter turned to groans and

cries for help as they realized his bladder had catalyzed the nitrous oxide into a toxin that (dare I say it!?) turned the helpless victim into a bespectacled hipster!! Oh woe

oh eternal curse of the motherless chick! The great prophecy had come true the moment the hipster had put on those godforsaken Calvin Klein spectacles. His eyes turned purple and

at a running rooster breaking the sound barrier trying to make its way across the populated highway. The hipster attempted the same action but a clown car ran over him. He dead...