EVIL WAITS IN VENICE. They say this city

EVIL WAITS IN VENICE. They say this city is beautiful and its customs exotic. I didn't need to leave Michigan to see the world. Now it all becomes the same to me. Corruption gnaws

on the knobby knees of fat children. Or so my Foster Mother always said. But Venice, California really isn't as great as they say. There's smelly homeless rich kids, and Hep-C

isn't just a cool jam-band your older brother's cool buddy told you about. Still, nice weather and a dude playing a guitar on roller skates were solid pluses. I started a pros/cons

list of hitmen who'd take out our competition, the other garage band on the block, "The Conotoxins". My list was short, Francisco Scaramanga or that bald guy from Municipal Waste

so I decided to dance for them because that was the most sensible option to

choose from, out of either 'Dance' or 'Eat deep fried plutonium'. But My sister decided to eat the deep fried plutonium. So while i danced, she began

to hyperventilate and convulse, silver tears pouring out of her eyes and a metallic liquid leaking out of her ears and nostrils. Who eats plutonium, anyway? It's not exactly edible

. However, plutonium is the Russian poison of choice. Reading Chekhov has given Russians a heightened dramatic sense when it comes to bizarre deaths and didn't she know it! She clu

potato salad was alright.. but easy on the the pickle juice next time" and with that, her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she was gone. A single tear fell from his left eye