David Bowie has always been thin. But when

David Bowie has always been thin. But when he was younger he was even thinner. Extraordinary to say.

What people don't know about David Bowie is before he became a musician, he was hired as an assassin by Prince Charles. He killed at a fixed rate, and if you tried to bargain, he

simply pretend he was going deaf. David Bowie's negotiation methods were undone one day when a potential client was deaf and had brought a sign language expert along to assist in

awesome mime stunts. But David Bowie loathed mimes. So he took a different tact and said, "Let's all slip into something a little more comfortable." They'd squeezed into a Tokyo ho

spital and steal the funky kimono-style scrubs that the doctors wore there, parading around the Japanese capital like little kings their contraband outfits. How they laughed, while

performing precise samurai surgery. "Chop chop. You all done." said Madam Wong. Her latest venture proved lucrative, until a customer, complained he wanted only a wart removed

not his whole left big toe. Madam Wong became very irate when he complained. "You complain of wart, chop, chop, wart gone!" "Yeah, but you took my whole..." with that, Madam Wong k

dipped it in her Bloody Mary to sterilize the blade. Madam Wong inserted the blade under her skin to remove her big ol' wart. Just then, the door blew open, the knife slipped &

the Fat Controller was doused in the face by a severed wart and pus-laced blood. "WHAT!?" said the Fat Controller. Madam Wong could not apologize profusely enough. Ribbit.