Once upon a time there was this girl. This

  • Once upon a time there was this girl. This girls name was Hailey. Hailey had blonde hair and blue eyes. She was an average height of 5'7 and quite athletic. Hailey's favorite sport

  • Was soccer, she wanted to play for Brazil but couldn't because she was Swedish.

  • So, she became a famous Swedish soccer player. The team went to the Finals of the World Cup. They played Brazil in the Finals. The score was Brazil 3 Sweden

  • noll. Yes, despite a steady diet of meatballs, the ball was just not rolling the Swedish lasses way. It did the samba & it was now 4 to noll. Jessy Langstrop ate a surströmming

  • directly from the can, barely smelling the overwhelming fragrance of fermented fish. She halfheartedly twitched her hips to a latin beat. Jessy wanted to stroll out on a grassy kno

  • ll and flirt with the cute mustachioed mariachi muchacho munching maraschino cherries. "Hola," she said, batting her eyes. Juan was impressed by Jessy's gender-defying social deco

  • Stonewall Polynesian Folk fusion campy plastic lawn chair without a twist of the ironic decor . Jessie handed Juan a lit beaker of euphorium PLUs your sister sold her. Juan didn't

  • drink it, even though he knew that if he did, he would win Jessie's love and die moments later in her arms. Juan loved her, but knew she wasn't really worth it, no matter how much

  • he pictured the act. To be, alone, but with lots of time, Juan, to meet another; or not to be, just dead in Jessie’s arms. Have you even kissed Jessie? Have you even seen her naked

  • , blissfully sleeping in your arms in the afterglow of passion? Have you ever truly lived if you haven't? I suspect not. Go, enjoy your drab and Jessie-less life.



  1. Flopp Apr 22 2020 @ 05:52

    Everyone needs a Jessie in their lives

  2. LordVacuity Apr 22 2020 @ 16:50

    Yeah, until Jessie leaves Baymont and becomes a stripper in Vegas. Then she traipses back into your life 40 years later as Assitatnt Principal at Baymont, your grandkids' school.

  3. Woab Apr 23 2020 @ 17:33

    Hailey, however, was chopped liver.

  4. LordVacuity Apr 24 2020 @ 02:05

    ^ So that is why the surströmming tasted fishy. Somebody had tried to pass Hailey’s body off as chopped liver. The surströmming had known!

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