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Drucilla was a very ample girl.

  • Drucilla was a very ample girl.

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  • So, instead of running away from home, Drucilla laid down and rolled away from home, letting gravity do the work to liberate her from her troubled

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  • mind. Every rock she hit, would make one of her worries disappear. Until she came to a full stop when she hit me. It was Love at first crash. Her face so bruised, it was beautiful

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  • and tragic and held an expression of wonder. She hadn't expected me. And she hadn't expected to fall so fast into the blankness of calm and utter

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  • udders of soliloquies in ode to her udders. True, she was a mad old woman with an udder fixation to the point where it's hard not to mention udders when around this librarian, but

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  • her cud chewing vacuous bovine visage at the reference desk, enthralled me somehow. I slipped my "Ode of Udder Rumination to my fairest Regurgitator" in an overdue Almanac on her

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  • oakwood desk. The cow liberian noticed my surreptitious love sonnet. She raised her liquid pools to my eyes. "So, do you want to go out for a milkshake?" (stupid! stupid!)

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  • "Moooooove it!" she bellowed. Or neighed. Or whatever noise we attribute to cows. Great. I made the cow librarian mad. She probably won't let me check out any books. Stupid!

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  • "That's alright, I was gonna get a book on how to grill burgers anyway, you, you COW!" As she walked backwards out of the library with the very same book mentioned in hand.

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  • The cow had herd it all before, and knew how to remoove it from her mind. After work she put on some smoooth jazz in the cattlac, got a nice decalf Americano and went to a moovie.

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