Drucilla was a very ample girl.

Drucilla was a very ample girl.

So, instead of running away from home, Drucilla laid down and rolled away from home, letting gravity do the work to liberate her from her troubled

mind. Every rock she hit, would make one of her worries disappear. Until she came to a full stop when she hit me. It was Love at first crash. Her face so bruised, it was beautiful

and tragic and held an expression of wonder. She hadn't expected me. And she hadn't expected to fall so fast into the blankness of calm and utter

udders of soliloquies in ode to her udders. True, she was a mad old woman with an udder fixation to the point where it's hard not to mention udders when around this librarian, but

her cud chewing vacuous bovine visage at the reference desk, enthralled me somehow. I slipped my "Ode of Udder Rumination to my fairest Regurgitator" in an overdue Almanac on her

oakwood desk. The cow liberian noticed my surreptitious love sonnet. She raised her liquid pools to my eyes. "So, do you want to go out for a milkshake?" (stupid! stupid!)

"Moooooove it!" she bellowed. Or neighed. Or whatever noise we attribute to cows. Great. I made the cow librarian mad. She probably won't let me check out any books. Stupid!

"That's alright, I was gonna get a book on how to grill burgers anyway, you, you COW!" As she walked backwards out of the library with the very same book mentioned in hand.