So, the Brits are weirder than I thought.

So, the Brits are weirder than I thought. In the 1800s, they purposely changed their accent to be more foo-foo.

You see, unlike the British, Americans are so manly, macho and virile. Our testosterone? Off the scale. Massive, massive balls.

And hair. Americans are hairy. Much, much hairier than the British, who tend to be pale, pasty & rather insipid in many ways...except one. Despite their outward appearance, British

have more than a stiff upper lip let me assure you, & more than 7 shades of grey. I've shagged me way from the lowest chav to the poshest toff. "You say todger & I say doodleyanker

, you say Old Etonian and I say wanker..." As I sang in the pub, I scanned the faces in front of me. Some nice ones from Cambridge, but I wanted Oxford. Heck, even a Geordie.

All I got was Lubbock Texas. What the deuce was a Texan doing in this British pub? The fire crackled or was that my good old Anglo hate?

I glanced at his hip to see if the Texan was carrying a gun. "Where's your gun, mate?" I joked, grinning. The Texan glanced around at the pub. "Took it at the airport, pardner."

I grinned but then realized that he was serious. I eyed the bih, tall Texan closely and took a step away. "Something the matter there, sonny?" He raised his heavy brows. I said

"Balderdash!" Blurted Bob, "I'm done bein' hornswoggled & bamboozled by flimflammers like you." Bob began to squeeze, hard. "Bob, you're a rootin' tootin' yahoo." "Don't I know it"