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So, the Brits are weirder than I thought.

  • So, the Brits are weirder than I thought. In the 1800s, they purposely changed their accent to be more foo-foo.

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  • You see, unlike the British, Americans are so manly, macho and virile. Our testosterone? Off the scale. Massive, massive balls.

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  • And hair. Americans are hairy. Much, much hairier than the British, who tend to be pale, pasty & rather insipid in many ways...except one. Despite their outward appearance, British

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  • have more than a stiff upper lip let me assure you, & more than 7 shades of grey. I've shagged me way from the lowest chav to the poshest toff. "You say todger & I say doodleyanker

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  • , you say Old Etonian and I say wanker..." As I sang in the pub, I scanned the faces in front of me. Some nice ones from Cambridge, but I wanted Oxford. Heck, even a Geordie.

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  • All I got was Lubbock Texas. What the deuce was a Texan doing in this British pub? The fire crackled or was that my good old Anglo hate?

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  • I glanced at his hip to see if the Texan was carrying a gun. "Where's your gun, mate?" I joked, grinning. The Texan glanced around at the pub. "Took it at the airport, pardner."

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  • I grinned but then realized that he was serious. I eyed the bih, tall Texan closely and took a step away. "Something the matter there, sonny?" He raised his heavy brows. I said

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  • "Why no umm.." I looked up at the big brass belt buckle. "Bob? I was just sipping a sarsaparilla and admiring the view." The Texan grabbed hold of my head with one meaty hand.

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  • "Balderdash!" Blurted Bob, "I'm done bein' hornswoggled & bamboozled by flimflammers like you." Bob began to squeeze, hard. "Bob, you're a rootin' tootin' yahoo." "Don't I know it"

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