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My family looks upon my career as printer

  • My family looks upon my career as printer salesman with some derision, but I'm about to make the deal of a lifetime. "The Duke" wanted a new face to evade the feds & my 3D printer

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  • just happens to specialize in human facial graphing. step in, press a button, and bam! You can look just like Pamela Anderson.

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  • Which is what happened to me. I was checking the machine out and pressed the wrong button. Then the machine broke. Now I looked like Pamela Anderson, problem was, I was a guy.

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  • "If I told you once, I told you a thousand times...STOP playing with my breast milk pump!" my wife shouted. "You & Pam Anderson could be twins! Serves you right." My wife was

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  • suffering from severe back pain on account of her mammary mammoths. Her friend Pam Anderson referred my wife to an Australian chiropractor. In the shadows, I pumped and pumped her

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  • back tyre but it had a slow puncture - it was a lost cause. So my wife ran off with the Australian chiropractor, leaving me with nothing to do except knock on Pam Anderson's door

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  • I heard shuffling and footsteps before Pam Anderson opened the front door. I cried, "Oh, thank goodness!" when she let me in. "You won't believe what the wife has gone and done."

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  • Pamela Anderson let me lie my head in her lap and massaged my scalp. "Tell me all about it," she purred. I tried not to cry. "My wife stopped my subscription to Car and Driver."

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  • "WHAT????" how dare he? Car and Driver? That's terrible. What ever will you do now?

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  • Yeah, CARL. Come on Carl, it's not rocket science CARL. You need to learn how this society works CARL. You disgraceful bastard, Carl.

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