With consummate ease he put the lime in the

  • With consummate ease he put the lime in the coconut. Across the room, his rival had just succeeded in putting the bomp in the bomp-bah-bomp-bah-shomp. Meanwhile, in Rio, the

  • IOC members were experiencing the delights of carnival. Drinks were flowing and the truth about doping in sport was being told to anyone that cared to listen. A cocktail waiter

  • with bulging biceps crushed my glass to a pulp by accident. He had made a habit of sip stealing from athlete's drinks spiked with HGH. The cocktail waiter's neck blocked my view of

  • the cocktail waitresses butt, which was the only good reason to be in this joint. I said "Excuse me, but could you please move just a scosh?" He raged "What the hell did you just

  • whip with pink sweaty thing?!?" I showed him. I'd whipped a leather briefcase with my giant charcuterie bull whip. i was about to tear it up in this little tavern.

  • Before any of them new what had hit them, the man and his goons found themselves scourged by my sausage links. As I left the the bar, the bar keep asked, "

  • Aren't you forgetting something, man?" I had no idea what he was talking about. A tip? Had I forgotten to pay my tab? The bartender placed a kielbasa in my hand. "Might need this

  • Why in the world your I need a thing like that? Maybe he was...hitting on me?! What a crude, strange way to do so... Yet, for some reason, I took the sausage

  • and stuffed it into my mouth whole. Then I said to him, "Yes, I drive you crazy - I understand, I'm a helluva woman." Except what he heard was,"Mffmphmmmmphaheamfffphmmth." The sau

  • ce was laced with multiple venereal disease and that's how you got the herp, the derp and the AIDS from me. I'm a helluva woman, hear me roar.



  1. lucielucie Nov 10 2013 @ 16:51


  2. jayursus Nov 10 2013 @ 23:35

    Mffmphm. Mmmpha, heamfff - phmmth!

  3. SlimWhitman Aug 14 2018 @ 17:42

    Just stumbled on this almost five years later. It's still dang funny!

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