I was reading a book when I heard a wailing

I was reading a book when I heard a wailing siren. I looked out my window and saw utter chaos. I looked into the sky and saw five planes streaking overhead in perfect formation.

Sighing, I put a bookmark in New Moon and stretched. I guess I'll have to save the world, again. I flew out the window. Ho-hum, another alien bent on earth's destruction. Lazily,

I lifted my pinky and in an instant, a green laser emitted from the finger and sliced through the engine of the mothership as if it was butter, The ship quickly exploded and then

bagel and toaster-fighters bearing down on me. I was intent on saving Princess Muffin and her escort of refurbished riding vacuum cleaners. Their escapepod plummeted to the planet

-arium and killed a dorky fifth grader. His mother, enraged, turned to the dark side. She could feel the power growing. She would kill Princess Muffin's home planet from the Death

Car, her minivan with the vanity plate "Momobile". They called her Darth Mom, but Princess Muffin (alias Derpy Hooves) would not abide such interstellar evil. Derpy pressed a hoof

against the back of Darth Mom's seat & then just kept kicking over & over while asking "Are we there yet?" over & over until Darth Mom had enough of Derpy. She stopped the minivan

and gave him a good kick up the backside before continuing on their journey. Derpy would grow up to enjoy a good kicking and would join a fight club.

Yeah, he thought. He'll join a fight club. Derpy watched the others walk ahead, and imagined punching him right in head, knocking him clean over. "The name's Derpy," he'd say.