Because I could only believe myself as far

  • Because I could only believe myself as far as I could throw me I decided to hire a private investigator to tail me and see who I met with when I was busy doing other things. I was

  • Nonplussed. I could stand up to the scrutiny. I had nothing to hide & I knew it. Still it never hurt to really know what you are up too and I took it as a sign of personal growth.

  • I grew a new perspective. I now believed that I was a brain in a box where others are controlling not only what I experience but if I experienced it.

  • But then, what was the purpose of my life? If I was simply a machine, controlled by someone with the remote, whence came my sense of autonomy? I puzzled over this question while

  • My puppet master yanked my strings to and fro. One moment he or she, I think I prefer a she, has plopped me on the divan watching hours and hours of Antique Roadshow and the next I

  • find myself strapped to her back as she bungee jumps from a helicopter over the Caspian Sea. My puppet eyes watch in horror as the helicopter seems to become tiny, then larger, as

  • I phase in and out of reality on my living room couch. I grab the edge of the coffee table and then take an unexpected tumble onto the shag carpet. This trash can may look small,

  • but the shag carpet piles look thirty feet tall. I started to run and ran smack dab into a red pistachio nutshell and was knocked unconscious. When I awoke, I was staring up at

  • gigantic doggy nose hairs. I'd never seen anything like it. I could get lost in those nostrils. A giant voice boomed, "Fiiiiido, c'mere here!" Buckets of dog drool splattered

  • Dogmeister beer was made from this concoction and sold so fast it became a distillery in the former fireworks factory. Fido became rich as did Sheba, his tortoiseshell cousin.



  1. Rebbie Mar 31 2017 @ 13:20

    Th puppet master is one sick lady. I won't do it no matter the strings you pull. I won't drink dog drool beer. UGH!

  2. LordVacuity Mar 31 2017 @ 13:24

    Then Rebbie, you are not the puppet we thought you'd be. Shame on you. Shame shame shame.

  3. Rebbie Mar 31 2017 @ 13:54

    Fine but if I have to drink dog drool you must drink it too! Here! Cheers!

  4. LordVacuity Mar 31 2017 @ 14:42

    Hah! I knew if I pulled the right strings you would come back into the fold. Bottoms up.

  5. Rebbie Mar 31 2017 @ 15:11

    was it good because while you were really drinking it, I tossed mine to the tosser and chugged a root beer. Now who's the puppet master, Futique?

  6. Gibber Apr 20 2017 @ 01:49

    Great story.

  7. LordVacuity Apr 23 2017 @ 01:47

    Well Rebbie, just because your puppetmaster wants you to have a false sense of autonomy and/or agency does not make you less a puppet.

  8. LordVacuity Apr 25 2017 @ 07:23

    Both Gibber and Gabby Johnson are right. This is a great story and the new sheriff is near.

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