In all my years, I don't recall any good

In all my years, I don't recall any good thing ever happening to me. I sold all of my happy memories for an express flight back to Earth. It wasn't easy. The blue-skinned girl said

there was one memory hidden so deep that the pincers on her psychic tweezers hadn't had the purchase to extract it. I had to give her an IOU note for it & promise to hand it over

to Roberto, the local welder. He was into this psychedelic mind crap. Extracting stuff was

what he did best. His trusty extractor tools always at the ready, he extracted flywheels, bearings, chainlinks & break pads. Roberto the Welder expanded to extract teeth, blackhead

s, navel lint and earwax lumps, but he still wasn't satisfied. Roberto thought long about his extractor tools and pondered if there wasn't a way to refine them into something that

could construct a delicate assembly of rods & wires, a multi-purpose contraption that could not only capture the imagination of the unwashed masses but also serve to depilate their

beards. Now they're clean thanks to Boeing and their contraption. "That'll be none hundred dollars

, uh, I mean ONE hundred dollars. No, no. FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS! We take our beard cleaning business very seriously, ahem." Boeing rubbed his fingers together, but I didn't have

the heart to tell him that the beard cleaning business had already been acquired by Trump Enterprises in a hostile take over. I would let Boeing go on believing that he

was the king of beard cleaning. What harm could it do now? And so poor Boeing slipped away, a smile on his face. "I finally beat that chump Trump," were his last words.