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Roland, chef de partie of the Chacune et

  • Roland, chef de partie of the Chacune et chacun Fantaisie restaurant, had an appetite for sabotage. He'd slip osmium cubes in tourtes so the serveurs would drop unbalanced trays on

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  • customer's laps. He greased his gateaux to fall off plates. Chef Roland couldn't be sated with foie gras or escargot. Only the waitstaff's tears could feed his sadistic appetite.

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  • Chef Roland always entered his kitchen wearing Jack Boots, a leather hood with zipper teeth, nimple daggers and a bull whip. When the first waiter placed an order for Knockwurst

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  • Chef Roland junk-punched him with the butt of his bull whip. Sausage orders of all types quickly diminished. Most waiters forced their diners into ordering soup or salad. Nothing

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  • Chef Roland did to his clientele dimmed their enthusiasm. No matter how much he swore or insulted their dress sense or humiliated them, they came back for his thin soup w/ lettuce

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  • So much lettuce in fact that he was considering adding all the lettuce to his thin soup making it, he hoped, not so thin anymore. "If only they came with a purpose", he thought to

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  • himself. Then he had the most brilliant idea! "I will call it Honeymoon Soup! Lettuce alone!" And so his multi-million dollar enterprise began. Newlyweds swore by it. Honeymoon

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  • soup came in numerous flavors depending on the wedding couple,for the frigid,iceberg lettuce alone,for the unfaithful,romaine hearts,for smoking newly weds in a chalet, swiss chard

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  • Accompanied by rainbow chard and 1000 typists insurrecting, the sound of which mimicked woodpeckers drilling holes in the newlyweds' house. Next came dandelion greens and collard.

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  • After that the newlyweds were glad that their house was full of woodpecker holes, because the green soup gave them gas like nobody's business. The honeymoon was over.

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