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Ants, so far, outlive us, we shan't likely

  • Ants, so far, outlive us, we shan't likely outlive them, but owing to the obvious differences in scale, we can hardly be said to be leading lives commensurate with those of ants.

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  • I stamped on the ant at the edge of our picnic blanket and felt better. We cracked two beers & gorged ourselves on a KFC 9 piece. Meanwhile, in near-earth orbit, Queen Formicon 5

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  • -holed Patrick Roy and the rest of the intergalactic space defense army. Then, Queen Formicon floated down to Earth on a giant gas bubble and laid a million eggs in my Amherst.

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  • But a giant plasma millipede lived in my Amherst and devoured her eggs. It secreted the nitrogen crystals I needed to refill my hawk drone. I needed to find the space defense army

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  • and have the space police space-defend my space hawk drone with space justice against the space giant plasma millipede in space time before all the space eggs were space used up. I

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  • stared in awe as my hopes and dreams were blasted into nothingness - the alien creatures had destroyed my space hawk drone and with it, my

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  • suitcase full of the only example of dilythium crystals the humans had ever seen. My space hawk had found them and I knew I would be the hit on Star Trek fandom circuit that

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  • spring. I booked my tickets in advance and left instructions for my neighbour to feed the cat. When it finally came time to join the circuit tour the weather changed. A flash flood

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  • shrunk my bell-bottoms. I was no longer cool enough to go on tour with The Circuits. I went back home to my cat, thought about things for a while, and decided to start my own band.

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  • The Mansons- the perfect band name! So I got together a group of current cons and ex-cons, and told them about my idea, expecting them to be inspired. I was dead in ten seconds.

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