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"You sprained your what?" she asked.

  • "You sprained your what?" she asked.

    5
  • "My brain, I sprained my brain." he moaned. "You read 'The Infinite Jest' to quickly." she rubbed his temples. "Here, have a People Magazine. That should soften it a bit. "

    5
  • Shoving Kim Kardashian's rump from his face, he stumbled to the kitchen for an icepack & 3 fingers of Wild Turkey. Would he lose his Mensa membership after this brain sprain? He

    5
  • regathered himself after 3 more fingers of Bird, logged onto MensaTest.org, knocked out a 974, and then buried his swollen face right back in Kim K's derrière. It was a Tuesday in

    5
  • cident of anaphylaxis. He was allergic to Kim K's derriere. She swiftly injected adrenaline into his heart which sorted him. Odd though, that it had happened on a Tuesday because

    5
  • ... "Oh SH*T!" he jumped up, grabbed his stuff & ran out the door before Kim K could stop him. It was TUESDAY, not Monday...dammit! His presentation! He burst into the board room

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  • and couldn't believe he'd somehow made it first! Now he just needed to place all the rubber ducks on the table and

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  • take them off again, then put them back on, over and over until the end of time. This was his new job. The continuous replacement of the rubber duckies powered the world. But one d

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  • ay I decided to shoot the rubber duckies with a cork gun. It worked out great until

    3
  • A duck came from behind, perched on a dog. The dog tapped me on the shoulder and began to laugh. I wondered why it laughed, until a bullseye appeared. Realizing who this was, I ran

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